In Memoriam....

How do u Remember 11th Sept ?

11th Sept always brought back special memories to me. It has been a been a Special Date for me fm then & still am till now - though the feeling of melancholy set in my heart everytime this date come & goes by... Especially so for the year 2001 !

NO... it was not bcos of the 911 incident - although when those "heroic" pilots slammed into the two towers killing "how many now eh?" (coz it kept on declining fm the > 7,000 ppl" estimation 1st published to shock & shook the world).. I think now it's abt 2,750 (read link).

Today, 11th Sept 2006 and you would hv turned 44 yrs old ...

My beloved friend - Shaikha Salma Bte Shaikh Omar Alkhatib... AllahYarhama.

11th Sept 2001 marked the last Birthday you celebrated. I can still remember that day when I visited u at yr sis home... u are not well. But yr strength, MashaAllah, - that had always been the admiration of many, kept u vibrant & chatty all the time.. On that day, u complained that the 'thousands' repeated times the images of the plane striking the towers being aired had make u 'groggy', what a way to celebrate a birthday, u exclaimed ! ... Yep, that morning, the world was shaken by the news that the Twin Tower in USA had been struck ! and the media had gone into frenzy - all TV or radio stations u tuned into will show u images & news abt that !
"Not only u" I said, "I am getting sick of seeing those images too!"

Salma - my cousin, had always been my best friend. my confidante. We grew up together in the same house - when we left our kampong in 1989, I still ferried between staying at my parents home & hers (with her dad Allahyarham Habib Omar (read link) & a couple of my aunts).

I hv scribbled this note down years back - only now after I know the blogging world can I write them down in print (with tears flowing now... :( )

"I wish a am a writer, then I could write all the beautiful words to describe u. We had grown-up together & over the years had been best of friend. Both of us being single, we talked about growing old together. You, cheerful as u are, yr spirit were not broken when u were diagnosed with Cancer in 1991. Over the years, never complaining, instead u grew even stronger - believing that grief & worries will only make things worst. "'Redha' to what Allah have given u, make the best out of it - InsyaAllah, this is the way to bring yrself closer to Him..."

You even became part-time councellor to those striken with cancer :- One by one of whom passed away... Allahyarham.

But u and me.. we were always happy :) Most of our free times we spend together... after work, weekends, holidays.. telephone calls - those were the days. You were my Holiday buddy.. after every couple of mths, we will definitely plan to go somewhere to de-stress.. a few short holidays to Malaysia or Indonesia & One Far Holiday per year.. that's our routine. We had great times in Malaysia, Indonesia, India, Dubai, Europe, Perth, Brisbane.. etc.. Always the two of us with inclusion of some other friends if they wanted to join us. But sadly (on reasons can't be elaborated here), I can't come with u when u did yr Haj & a couple of Umrahs.

Almost every weekends we met - shopping, window shopping, having a walk or juz us coming over at each other's home for chats...
All those wonderful moments together... u never missed a prayer.. even if it meant we pray at some corners or staircases in a shopping centre, she will insist that we do it.. Alhamdullilah....

In July 2001, we went to Jakarta, even when u are not so well, u were patient.. following us around, sitting at a corner while we shop around. Then came August, you still wanted to go to Perth with me. U were not so well then.. but still we went cos I hv promised to accompany my SIL with her 2 children coming back to Singapore after an 8 mths stay, and u wanted to come along. You gather yr strength to walk along side me.. never giving up. We still went around having a blast... over at sand-dunes, u even slide down the sand !! We went touring & shopping.. some days u just don't hv the strength & are in pain..u choose to stay back.

We came back to Singapore safely, Alhamdullillah, but yr health deteriorated.. In & out of hospital, but never once complaining or talk about dying. Instead, managed to even console & give hope to another lukeimia patient. Your are the favourite amongst the nurses in NUH.
"Why u don't want to get married?" came a shocking question towards me one day while I was driving u back fm a check-up at NUH.. we had discussed this with girly giggles many times, but this time u asked me seriously.. I brushed them off jokingly then...

Then, on 30th December 2001, I got a call from yr sister.. u are in the hospital yet again... quite bad, they told me. I rushed down to the hospital to be by yr side. Holding yr hands & reciting the Shahadah to you.. ."Ya Allah, Ya Allah"..though semi-consious from the mophines, I know u know my presence as you held my hand & mumbled back the recitation... I fed u Zam-zam water & you swallowed them.

7pm - I saw u grasping for air.. "Don't fight so hard my beloved, breath slowly... slowly... all will be fine... you will be ok... Slowly.. slowly.. I love you, we all love u and Allah love u..." and with that... slowly...you were gone!
INNALLILLAHI-WAINNA ILAIHI RAJIUUN...
You left me here all alone, though I am not alone in this world - I felt that I am the loneliest person that moment... but I truly 'Redha' on yr leaving me to meet the Almighty creator, Allah...
I am confident that a nice & religious single girl like u will be granted Jannah... united with yr beloved mum & dad.. Allah Bless them All, InsyaAllah."

Now, my beloved friend.. I am married & blessed with a beautiful adorable boy. You don't hv the chance to see them. Many have asked me (including my hb whom had never met u).. will I be married if u are still around ?"... the answer is "Wallahu-Alam", I myself don't know - really.. its Allah's Qadak & Qadar... but truly, I wonder them myself. All that happen is for the best, InsyaAllah.....

I do miss her dearly... very very much. But u know what?.. she's always there with me, in fact, till now - after 5 years, she visited my dream almost everyday ! SubhanAllah, almost all the dreams I hv, she's there with me, and she's fine ! On a few occassions in the dream it will seem like she was sick but was well again (hard to explain)... they said yr pass memories will dominate yr dreams, Wallahu-Alam... for me I am just glad and I Thank God after I had those dreams - for it really 'terubat' (cure) my 'rindu' (missing) for her...

"Ya Rabb, cucuri lah Rahmah mu sebanyak2nyer buat roh Shaikha Salma. Jangan lah dier disiksa walau sedikit pon, luaskan & terangi lah kubornya.. berbahgia lah rohnya sementara menunggu hari-hari bilamana ia akan ditempatkan di Jannah mu, InsyaAllah... InsyaAllah juga, jika diizinkan - dapatlah kiranya kami bertemu lagi di Jannah mu.... Ameen. Al-Fateha..."